It was sunny this morning, but now it's pouring rain.
What's more, it's cold in winter, so it snows a lot and it's pretty harsh.
Spring is almost here in Japan, so I'm glad it's getting a little warmer these days.
This morning I found out about Cristobal Pesce's DJ performance through a YouTube notification, and I was dancing to it, and it felt so good that I took a nap afterwards.
I just woke up and it's 13:00 in the afternoon.
I haven't had much alcohol for three days, and I've been eating a lot of vegetables and tofu and less carbohydrates, so it's very healthy, and I've had a vacation so I've had plenty of sleep, so I'm in good health💚 🍀*゜
I've been working overtime lately and have had a lot to do, so to be honest I was tired🙄
The company was happy to accept my leave, so it's no problem.
about 100 times.
Well, let's get serious.
This time, I'll write about my background, so it's going to be a bit long.
Thank you for reading.
I live in Niigata Prefecture, Japan.
The number of suicides is increasing rapidly in Japan.
Compared to other countries, Japan is considered a relatively safe country because there are no gunfights.
But, I wonder.
Even if we are from different countries, we are all human beings, so there should be the same amount of anger, hatred, jealousy, and envy.
I think that these emotions are born from daily mental stress.
Compared to other countries, in Japan, it is considered natural to suppress emotions, remain expressionless, and live quietly and inconspicuously.
In Japan, smoking and drinking on the street, as well as walking while eating a hamburger, are despised.
【''The three photos are of the garden''】
If you play music on a stereo on the street, dance, or sing, the police will be called and you will be warned and treated as a weirdo.
(ง 🕶 )ว ٩( 🕶 )۶(ง🕶 )ว ( 🕶 و(و
Even if you are listening to music in your own room, you will be accused of
"your neighbors are too noisy!"
and the police will be called and you will be warned.
...''Fuck The Police！''👎🏻💔
In the worst case, you will be forced to pay compensation through civil lawsuits, or even murder.
"🫲(⚙︎ ₃ ⚙︎)🫱"why??
In any case, it is a country where you have to act quietly and inconspicuously.
I myself have been in trouble many times for noise pollution.
I just love music.
🥁🎶🐓🐈🐕🫏🎶🥁
There are other factors that cause stress.
I think it's because of the working system.
In Japan, there are many companies that force people to work more than the legal upper limit of working hours, and they are often forced to work on pre-allocated holidays.
Of course, high-income earners may find it rewarding, but this time I will limit myself to the story of suicides, which are said to be more prevalent among low-income earners.
The minimum wage in Niigata Prefecture, where I live, is 6.19 US dollars as of 2024.
This amount is taken for granted among low-income earners.
↑↑↑ ↑↑↑
【There are seven gods, and they are called ''the Seven Lucky Gods''】
With high tax rates, rising prices, and the economic downturn caused by the pandemic, it is a matter of life and death for low-income earners.
Some of you may know my life, but even if I work full time for a month, I can barely make a living by cutting back on food expenses to the bare minimum.
I can't even find money to play.
( ˘•ω•˘ ).｡oஇ
After work, I quietly and unobtrusively go home, kill time in my room with free mobile apps, and go to sleep.
It's the same thing every day. In my house, eating out is basically prohibited because it would make it impossible to live. Even McDonald's is prohibited.🍔🍟ℳ.
Furthermore, flashy clothing is prohibited at work, hair must be black, shorts are not allowed, ripped jeans are not allowed, clothes must be inconspicuous colors such as white, black, or gray, and if you have tattoos, you will not even be hired. Until recently, masks had to be white.
Even when applying for leave due to physical illness, you cannot take time off work if the symptoms are minor, and you cannot take time off even if you have a broken bone or your pet cat is in pain.
You are basically forced to go to work unless you have an extremely high fever or a life-threatening illness or injury, and even if there are exceptions, you have to go to work even if you have to make a living.
Perhaps because people are forced to live such a life, the number of patients with depression and autonomic nervous system disorders, which are considered mental illnesses, is increasing in Japan.
It seems that many people who commit suicide do so after suffering from such mental illnesses.
There was a time when I also attempted suicide.
…🤔💭
Please bear with me as I tell you a little about my past.
(人 •͈ᴗ•͈)
Tired of daily life and the pressure from those around me, at the age of 27, I started using marijuana, which is now relatively safe and understood by many people.
At the age of 30, I began using methylone, a dangerous hard drug that was legal in Japan at the time, and MDMA, which is illegal, and started going to DJ clubs.
At one point, I suffered from a mental illness. Extreme sleep disorders, loss of appetite, panic disorder.
Day by day, I became unable to go out alone.
From that time, my desire to commit suicide became stronger, and I often looked up the lethal dose of over-the-counter drugs and tried to commit suicide by taking over-the-counter drugs.
I think it was from that time that the people around me started to go crazy little by little.
Looking back, it was around that time that I started to become a victim of group stalking.
I started going to a psychiatrist and also received welfare, a system unique to Japan.
I was on welfare, not allowed to own a car or jewelry, lived in a cheap apartment, went to the hospital, and received $798 a month for living expenses.
While living such an empty life, there was a decisive moment when I decided to commit suicide.
It was about 10 years ago, when I was about 35 years old.
The drugs I was using at that time were called illegal herbs.
I was exhausted both physically and mentally, and in despair over the death of my beloved cat and the existence of a man stalking my girlfriend, I attempted suicide with my girlfriend by overdosing on drugs, just like my idol Sid Vicious.
I could hear other people's conversations from the walls and ceiling of the apartment in a realistic way.
I think there was not only audio but also video transmission to my brain through radio waves.
We were both pushed to the brink both physically and mentally, but fortunately we were not seriously injured.
However, she was hospitalized in a psychiatric hospital.
I was not allowed to visit her for a while, and we reunited three months later while continuing to work part-time.
She was normal, but I remember that my mental illness had not been cured and I looked terrible.
I think I was about 37 years old when I was able to quit drugs.
However, instead, I started drinking a lot of alcohol and almost developed a life-threatening disease called cirrhosis of the liver.
It became difficult for me to walk, and at one point I even considered death.
However, looking back at my past, I thought,
"I can't die without repaying my parents and my girlfriend"
The attacks of the group stalkers only escalated, but from the day I made that promise to myself, I started to live seriously.
I quit drinking and began my bedridden life, and after about a year I was able to live a normal life, but I was desperate to recover my body, which had been weakened by the disease, and return to society.
I trained morning, noon, and night to tone up my body, which had become fat from my bedridden diet, and lost more than 20 kilograms.
【''I always get vegetables from the kind people in my neighborhood''】
While confronting the relentless group stalkers and researching ways to fight them.
When the attacks from the gang stalkers reached their peak and we reached a dead end, with the help of her father, she bought the old house for 10,000 US dollars and we moved to our current residence in Niigata Prefecture, 370 km from the apartment where I lived at the time.
From there, it was as described in the previous blog.🤡
I wrote that there are many suicides in Japan, but I think there are many people who have suicidal thoughts.
That's why I wanted to change Japan.
I would like to change the whole world if possible.
I cannot tolerate extremely vicious and inhumane acts such as gang Fuck'in stalking.
🖕✮🖕✮🖕✮🖕✮🖕
The fundamental social system is wrong.
Even though Japanese politicians earn high incomes, they deceive the people, make unidentified money behind the scenes, and spend it lavishly.
They smile on the surface and treat the people like inanimate objects.
It's like a Fuck'in scam.
Damn it🤪
It's a system that extracts 50 types of high taxes from the people, and if they find anyone among them who is not of use, it seems to drive them to suicide.
And yet they tell them to get married, have children, and work.
Just like throwing away something you bought new because it's old.
Shooting someone to death is easier to understand.
So what should we do? If politicians can't solve it, I'll gather my allies, hold a meeting, and make reforms.
It's like resetting most of the existing system to zero.
We have to destroy history once. Destruction and creation.
Well.
I'm saying big things, but my hobbies now are karaoke and re-reading manga I've finished 😂
😴😴😴.....Oops, I saved this blog in my drafts and went to sleep.
When I woke up, I had more things I wanted to say so I'll add them later.
I want you to believe me, but I won't ask you to.
I don't have a criminal record. But I have done bad things.
I grew up with a single parent, and when I was in junior high school, I stole a motorcycle, smoked cigarettes with bad friends, drank alcohol, and got into fist fights with strangers.
I stole $5 from my mother because $10 a month was not enough for my pocket money.
I once stole $100 from my current girlfriend's wallet while she was sleeping, even though we've been together for 18 years.
I was shocked at that time.
See, that was terrible, right?
But even I had rules.
I don't use violence against the weak.
As a man, I want to be kind.
I've always been like that.
My current girlfriend taught me a lot of things.
I didn't know about Buddha before I met her.
She likes Buddha, so she often told me stories about Shakyamuni.
And she was always smiling even when she was in trouble.
As I was with her, I changed little by little. My mother always smiles and helps me.
Even though I betrayed the expectations of those around me many times, I have always received their love.
I respect them very much.🧡💙💚🤎🤍
Now, it is thanks to them that I am trying to do something big.
I am not a saint, nor am I a Buddha. I want to convey the joy of receiving love.
I will teach the power of love to those who continue to do bad things without reflecting on themselves and hide and mock others.
I will make those who bully the weak and steal a lot of money from others and mock them reflect on their actions.
Buddha and Christ may say not to fight, but I am not.
I want to be a hybrid existence that combines Shiva, the god of war, and Ganesha, the god of love.🇮🇳
I want to be a cool person who can face strong people.
A few days ago, I lied to change the rules of society.
【It's called ''Maneki Neko'' and is said to bring good luck with money】
I want to change the rule that you should not be absent from work because I think it is better to work more slowly.
Something should change if I take the initiative to be absent from work.
A few years ago, I swore that I didn't want to lie anymore, but there is something more important than that.
I lied for world peace.
Is that bad?
I will tell you everything honestly.
Is that bad?
Is it okay to commit any major crime as long as you don't get caught?
Is education about studying and gaining power in order to commit crimes in secret?
I may be a nuisance to others.
But if I can make those I've caused trouble to happy in the end, it's a benefit to everyone.🫶
It's not a scam.
So I'm going to see it through.
Because I want to be satisfied and finish my life with a smile.
I'm going to drink a lot of alcohol again from tomorrow!🤩
If you use anything well, it can be fun.🎉
You Are My Family🏠(｡･ω･)y-ﾟﾟﾟ🍻
Thank You So Much🔥🙏🏻
